I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
