Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
