The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
