I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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