Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
