Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
