wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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