I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
