i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize