i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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