let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
