You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
