I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
