Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
