i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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