if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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