We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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