Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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