Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I looked at my own cervix.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
