Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize