Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
