Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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