I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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