I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
