I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
