so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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