my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
