i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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