Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
