I puked a lego.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
