Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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