I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
