Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
