he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize