What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
