im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
