I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
