I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
