Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
no, he came in my armpit
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
