Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
