Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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