omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize