Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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