So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
