I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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