it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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