I look better un-naked...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize