He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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