Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
