I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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