It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
