When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
