Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
