Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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