By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
