His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
