Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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