im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Drake has all the answers
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
