That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
