You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
