no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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